Sunday, June 11, 2017

X1

I used to be one of the best student,
One of the top scorer,
High committee of student body and clubs,
And just a little touch of sense.
It was all because I was trying to get my revenge,
On you.

Yes, you are one of the reasons why I worked my butt off during college years.
We broke up, remember?
And I was trying to prove that I can survive.
Without you.
Without mama.
And yes, it worked.

Well, there were some moments that we connected, briefly.
And you backed off because I said that I was in a serious relationship.
That was so.... gentleman-ly of you.
And I am sorry that you broke up with your cute little girlfriend that time.
I sensed that it was because of me...
(Actually she sent me a private msg, but who cares anyway)

Truth to be told, at that moment,
I was still trying to hold on to the bits and pieces that was still there.
Masa tu dah 7 tahun 'Fif, hang rasa camna?
All I thought was, if this is not love, 
Then what is it?

You made me feel things that I can't feel with anyone else.
Not until this one person came and befriended me.
Who is it, you ask?
I'll tell you in some upcoming post.

But all I am trying to say is,
You were part of the reason why I ended up like this.
I don't actually mean it in a bad way,
But we both know we could do better,
And be better.
We were just too young.
Although I never thanked you because you were there when Mama passed away.
And I'm sorry that your friends hate me because I broke your heart and hurt your feelings.
I guess I am a bitch.
*pardon my language*

You think I still haven't moved on?
I don't know myself.
My mind is like an open browser,
And you are one of the tabs that I can't seem to close.
But you know what, I know I am going to regret this,
The thought of you hurts me, so much.

They say let it go, it was all in the past.
And I said that a lot to myself too.
But... you were a part of my memory there.

All I wanted was to be free from the past.
But the shadows of the past keeps haunting and taunting.

p/s : Part 1, done.

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