Thursday, June 8, 2017

Surf.

In this completely "normal" time,
I need a hug,
A really fat cat,
An all-you-can-eat Korean cuisine buffet,
And money to spend on nothing but trouble.

You know the funniest thing about my depressed-state-of-mind,
Is that I overthink things.
Which for a kind hearted person like me,
Means trouble.
Because that's my biggest weakness is,
Being a nice person.

You can screw me over how many times you want,
But I'll still care.
I say I'm mad, but I know deep down,
I still care.
Do you feel lucky to have me?
Or maybe,
Regret that you let me go by myself?

I'd say, I'd go miles for love.
But the truth is, I'm scared.
Those miles recorded before, was it even worth it?
See what damage has been done on me,
You can't undo it.
But no matter what damage,
I'd always be that sweet kind hearted girl you always knew.
Because I'd accept you in your worst times.
No matter how effed up you are.
I'll always have your back.

All you need to do, is do the same for me.
And never, take me for granted.
Because I'll leave when I feel like it.
And I swear that before I leave,
I'll crush every bits and pieces of heart you still have,
And you'll have trouble getting up,
And just by hearing my name will break you apart.

The worst part of having these depression,
You feel like a trash.
Like the world is against you.
Like no one will be there for you when you fall.
That's when suicide came to your thoughts.
I know, because since then,
I've been thinking about it.
How to end my life, which way will be better, etc etc.

And only through here,
You'll know why.

p/s: Let me go already.

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