Sunday, March 5, 2017

Continue counting or restart?

I don't know what to feel.
Or think.
Or do.

I was hoping you'd mend my already broken heart,
Yet you're the one shattering it into millions of little pieces.

How could you?
After I told you my truest feeling and pain.
I trusted you.
Then the next morning you ruined it.
You ruined my mind.
You ruined me.

And you asked for a chance to redeem yourself.
How is that even possible?
How can I recover?
How'd you think I feel?
Do you think it's easy for me?

I don't have anyone to trust now.
I have myself to rely on and trust from today onwards.
Should've been that way since earlier.

This problem keeps on repeating itself.
I started to think it's my fault.
Maybe I was the one with problems.

I'm sorry.
I'm not the best lady you'd hope for.
I have flaws and scars, a lot of them.
And I'm already busy taking care of myself by trying to fix and hide those scars and flaws.

Should I put my trust on you again?
Should I be gentle and kind?
Should I give in?

Maybe I should just take care of myself, on my own.
At least that if I'm hurt again, I'll know it's my own fault.
I'm not in the condition of "ready to love again".

p/s : It always ends up the same way. Maybe I'm not cut for this.

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