Wednesday, December 2, 2015

What now?

What if you were right?
What if all the talk was just, talk?
What if what you said that day was what you think deeply
And those things were true?

I can't stop thinking.

I tried to leave.
Honestly, I did.
It didn't work.
I thought I have escaped,
Then your shadow came again.
They were haunting me in my dreams,
Then later
You came back.

The things that I wrote,
In my letters that were supposed to be for you,
They were real.

I didn't know what I meant to you.
I didn't know what your real and sincere feelings are.
But what I do know is,
It seemed better for me to forget everything
And act like there was nothing.

It's uncomfortable
But at least I won't get my hopes high.

I wasn't leaving because of you.
I was leaving because I think you deserve better than what I am now.
I am trying to kill these butterflies inside me
The butterflies that flutter when I see you
So that I wouldn't feel bad leaving you.

Be happy.
Because there was no reason to be special anymore
When all I give you was misery and pain.

"I dah tak rasa u special mcm dulu"
It hurts. It stayed in my heart until now.
But that's okay.
It didn't stop me from leaving, at least.

p/s : Be happy. And take care, always.

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