Saturday, October 3, 2015

Awfully painful.

Kerja aku hujung bulan dan awal bulan memang banyak.
Dan pada minggu begitulah
Aku akan dikejar dan mengejar deadline untuk month end.
Stress level up to maximum.

However,
Something else has been bothering me.
I can't tell what that really is,
But it's painful...
So painful that I can't seem to grasp the reality
So painful that I can't digest the current situation
So painful...
That I wish that all the tears inside of me would wash away the painful pain.

The shivering,
I hope it goes away.
I don't know what caused the shivering
But...
I don't want my body to shiver so much anymore.
It adds pain to the existing pain.

Well...
Not that nobody can do anything.
But despair got me running low on motivation
And somehow I felt that hatred is conquering and chasing love away from me.

That's cool by me.
I don't deserve love.
I can't feel compassion.
I don't deliver happiness.
I only give people pain.

p/s : I'm sorry. Probably any message I give will be the last.

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